I always feel lied to. No matter what I ask, and no matter what you do.. I always feel lied to. I wouldn’t say “blame it on my ex” or “it because of my past” when it totally is the problem. I’ve never been anyone’s main priority. Never been in a relationship where someone is actually scared to lose me.. I just want to be wanted. I walk down the halls, and see couples who look so happy, and then there’s me.. someone afraid to give my all. I really hate my ex’s, because they’ve made it so hard for me to love fully. I just want that assurance. That assurance that will tell me, “it’s okay, I’m here.. and I won’t leave you.” I want that with you.. but I’m scared to love again.

Silence kills me. When we aren’t talking I can’t help but think.. and think.. and over-think. I can’t help but wonder.. if you aren’t talking to me, are you talking to her? What’s in her that makes you hold on? Aren’t I enough? Questions and thoughs race through my mind, soon filling it with insecurities and doubts. I want to be the only one on you mind. The only one you want to talk to. The one you can’t go without talking to. But, I guess I’m not, huh? Tough luck for me.

I feel as if love is supposed to be about love. I know couples argue and have disagreements, but not every single day. I’m not the type to handle stress well, or can even stand to deal with it. I just want feel comfort and have that person to help me escape from my stress, not bring stress to me. I can’t deal with the built up anger, and the unsolved issues. I just want someone to love me like I love them, that’s all I ever wanted.